Is it really only Wednesday?

This hasn't been a very good week, or past few weeks. Everything finally just burst yesterday. Everything I bottled up came out. I told people just how I was feeling because they asked, because they would rather ask questions then to just leave things alone. He's a jerk why do I want to talk to him? So I, when he asked why, gave him everything. Then he goes and tells people he isn't like that and doesn't think that he does it enough to be categorized as such. But just because you don't do something enough doesn't mean you aren't that. Also, it's context. Everyone is those things that I called him, but obviously he's still a surface person, and there is more to it. I don't call anyone those things. I didn't tell him why he was all of those things. Why should it matter now when it didn't matter when he said what he said then didn't do it? Yes, I'm being vague because it isn't anyone's business to know what I tell him, or what he told me, but he thinks it's ok to tell everyone that what I said about him so I look like the bad guy? He's a jerk, a liar, and selfish, but whatever. I guess people never change. I did apologize, not for what I said but for how I said it. I held it all in among with other emotions that it just came out. I know I could have said it better, because I always say things in a better sort of way to where it isn't mean or judgmental.

I also burst out at one of my best guy friends. It felt like he was ignoring me this weekend. He always does what he says he's going to do, but didn't do it this week. Last night, he wanted to talk and I needed sleep. I was pissed. It felt like he wanted to talk only when it worked for him. Its been feeling like that with several different people, but for him to do it really hurt me. I told him so, and so of course I didn't sleep much last night. I can't go to sleep angry, so we talked for a bit and straightened things out. Sometimes it feels like we are in a relationship, but we are just in a friendship lol

And through it all, Nicky's been a pretty awesome friend :) He makes me laugh and can distract my mind. I find I talk about him a lot with other people lol as well as the rest of my wonderful friends! I am noticing there are only a handful, of people that I am really close to and another handful that I can really truly call friends. And you know, that is enough for me. I don't need a lot of friends. It isn't the quantity of friends that matter, it's the quality, and my friends? Well, they are the best. I love you guys :)

Along with Nicky and the rest of my awesome friends, the patients I have been working with also put a smile on my face, but that's for another day :)