I don't know why it happens, but it always does. After an incredible time I get knocked down. It never fails. It's like I'm being punished for having a good time.
Sometimes I hate myself. It's easier than loving myself. I mean what have I accomplished in my 24 years? I had this plan since I could remember and it all came crashing down one year. I had faith in God I had trust in this thing I couldn't see and why? I gave up on it on God. I mean ya I believe in something higher than myself but God? I mean I don't see how someone can have faith and trust in something when all that has been seen and felt is pain? I don't know, maybe I'm not making any sense, or maybe I'm making complete sense; either way, I'm happy for the most part.
I don't have it in me to write anymore right now...maybe later this week. I'll try not to disappear for months from this...I need a picture update yay! :)
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